I think there’s a conspiracy here…

Me:  “Hey, look, here’s proof of a evil gnoll presence in the Forest Ruins!

Acting Lieutenant Germain: ::nudges partner:: Yeah, well, its just one arrow kid.

Me: “Seriously?  Dude there’s pirates and undead everywhere…is it really that hard to believe that some rogue gnolls are hiding out here?

AL Germain:  ::with a straight face::  Yeah, well we can’t call out the Qeynos guard that easily, rook, they are busy people.”

Me: “What about that guy over there?  He’s level 55, he could pretty much walk through those ruins and wipe out everything living and unliving and it would all be done with.  Then I could get back to harvesting goods here.”

AL Germain: ::glances at the guard:: “Who him?  Yeah he uh…can’t leave his post.  It’s um..his sacred duty or something.  Guess your gonna have to do it, rook.  ::his partner snickers::

Me:  “You want me to beat back a pirate invasion, root out a gnoll plot, and clear a castle of undead inhabitants?  At level 10?  Alone?”

AL Germain:  “Well, Qeynos always needs heroes rook.” ::partner is openly laughing now::

Me: “Fine…whatever.  How much are you paying.”

AL Germain:  ::fishes in his pocket::  Uh, we are authorized to pay you… ::pulls out his hand:: …like 2 silver and some copper.

Me: ::glaring::  “Are you #$%$ing me?  That’s not even enough to cover my rent for the week.”

AL Germain:  “Heroes do it for honor and glory rook.  What do you think this is, Freeport?”

Me:  “Right, sure they do.  Alright I’ll do it.”

AL Germain: “Great, great kid.  Now I’ll need some proof.  Lets say like, 10 globs of protoplasm from the undead.”  ::partner, howling, excuses himself::

Me: “How about , no.”

AL Germain: ::raises an eyebrow:: “Gee kid, I can’t, um, authorize payment unless I have proof that you completed the job.”

Me:  “Won’t dozens of dead bodies be proof enough?  You know what, nevermind, I know an easier way to get the money.”

AL Germain: “Oh really rook?”

Me: “Yep, watch this..” ::draws sword, runs Germain through, takes his money::

THE END.

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